You Won't Find Love
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The Pick Me Up is a Monday morning newsletter filled with advice, personal stories, and tips to help you get out of bed and jumpstart your week.
Greetings, friend! It’s me, Jen Glantz. I’m writing to you from Brooklyn.
March is a meaningful month, if we let it be.
It’s the third month of the year.
It’s a chance for you to stop, for a second, and take a look at how you’ve been living your life, wasting time your time, using the days, so far, that come inside of 2023.
We often wait for something or someone to tell us we should change, start over, try again.
But you don’t need a compelling event. You just need five minutes.
Take five minutes today.
Figure out what you’re happy with so far this year. Figure out what needs to change, stop, end, or leave your life.
Then do something about it. Yes, you. Do something about it.
In this issue: Love isn’t something you find,
Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 8-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.
Instant Pick Me Ups
🍪: Set boundaries in your life before opportunities pop up. It will help you know when to say and when to say no.
For example, I have a boundary that unless you’re a bffffffff of mine, I’ll say no to going to a gigantic birthday dinner that’s going to cost each person $250. Instead, I’ll ask to plan an adventure or 1:1 dinner with you instead.
As an entrepreneur, I have work boundaries, like the very minimum amount I charge for speaking engagements or when I take phone calls (I only do two phone calls a week).
Having these in advance saves you the stress of making a decision when an opportunity pops into your life or your inbox.
📚: Everyone is talking about this TV show and it’s making me want to read the book.
🎧: I really love love love this song. It’s a good pick me up!
👏: The last thing I bought on Amazon cost me less than $15 and brings me so much happiness as I waddle around my apartment.
You Won’t Find LOVE
Yesterday, Adam and I celebrated seven years together and two years of marriage.
Our love story is a little bit bizarre.
We met because a psychic had told me I’d never find love and I wanted to prove her wrong. I went on 14 first dates, met nobody, went to delete my dating apps, and had one final message from Adam. He asked to meet for coffee. I said yes.
Not only that, but our life together has been anything but linear.
Most couples spend their first few months dating in this state of pure bliss. We spent ours dealing with the darkest days of my life (more on that below).
Some couples move in together after dating for a little while. We decided to sell all of our belongings, ditch our separate apartment leases, and spent two years living in new cities every month.
A lot of couples get married and plan weddings. The day after we sent out save the dates, COVID entered the world. We canceled everything.
Eventually, yes, we did get married, outside of the coffee shop we had our first date, on the 4th anniversary of that first date. We weren’t even allowed inside the coffee shop, because of the pandemic. Our parents were not there, because of the pandemic.
I’m sharing this with you because love is anything but typical. Everyone has their story and everyone’s story is different. Sometimes, if you look deeply into any story, of any relationship, it seems impossible that the two people ever even met, let alone, built a life together.
I decided this week to share the six parts of our story.
Part one is below - I’ll link the rest below that if you want to read:
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Part One ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
One month before my FIRST DATE with Adam, a psychic looked me in the eyes, grabbed my hand, and said:
YOU WILL NEVER FIND LOVE.
"Like ever?" I replied, pulling my fingers away from hers.
"Ever." She said with ease, as if she was telling me the news about a canceled sitcom and NOT MY LOVE LIFE. “You’re just too…complicated.”
For a little while, I believed her.
Because when we let people tell us what to think about our own lives, we let them write our story.
But she didn't know me, she didn't know the footnotes that swarmed the pages of my plot so far, and perhaps she didn't know that I am the kind of person -
- who lives life with this fierce stamina to prove people wrong.
The opposite of not finding love is looking for it obsessively. So that's what I did.
I went on 14 first dates in one month. Some days, I went on 4 dates a DAY.
I didn’t meet anyone I ever wanted to see again.
So I picked up a glass and said: “Cheers, psychic! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ME.”
Right before I hit the "erase my profile forever'' button on the dating app, I saw a message from a guy asking me to meet him for coffee.
"What's one more date? One more chance to prove this psychic wrong."
So I went to the coffee shop and waited for the date to walk in.
And when the door opened, @adamkossoff walked in.
What if she’s wrong about me?
What if I am complicated but what if love isn’t?
Last week, I sat in front of a tarot card reader who didn't know a thing about my love life.
She pulled a card that had a guy on it that looked like Adam. She paused and looked me in the eyes.
"Oh,” she said. “Oh, wow.”
I rolled my eyes. She better not tell me I’LL NEVER FIND LOVE because this time - I want a refund.
"Love," she said, "Is a powerful force in your life and there's someone you love who has helped you get through so much, who has changed how you view the world, who…. I don't know…..
I exhaled.
“Adds to your adventure.”
“Adds to my adventure,” I repeated. “Oh, what an adventure it's been.”
Random Pick-Me-Ups
Secrets: I decided to start a new series on Instagram where I share secrets: about business, finance, life, marriage, friendship, and more. First one is about maternity leave.
Advice: Why it’s OK to say no to things in friendship when you can’t afford them.
Mom: I’m 41-weeks pregnant and this week, I’m learning a lot about patience.
Share: Email someone this newsletter (thank you, dear friend).
Ps. Let’s work together - here’s how:
👏1:1 coaching: I specialize in working with people who want to switch careers, start their own business, improve their personal brand, or are feeling lost in life. Book a session and let’s work together this month.
👏Courses: Want a quick pick-me-up? I offer a handful of digital courses that include videos, assignments, and real-time personalized feedback from me along the way. Check them out here - the most popular one is the personal branding course.
👏Company workshops & speaking: I offer company workshops and conference keynotes on topics that include personal branding, social media trends, storytelling, and more. I’ve worked with Google, Apple, HBO, ESPN, and more. Learn more here.
Advertise: Want to showcase your business or brand in one of my newsletters or on my social media? Let’s chat about open opportunities.
+ Random:
Books // Card Game // Bridesmaid for Hire // Scared to Be a Mom // Shop