5 Lessons I Adore at Age 35

It's Monday. I'm Here for You.

The Pick Me Up is a Monday morning newsletter filled with advice, personal stories, and tips to help you get out of bed and jumpstart your week.

Greetings, friend! It’s me, Jen Glantz. I’m writing to you for the first-time since I turned 35. My birthday was on April Fool’s Day and I spent it doing my favorite things: walking around NYC, eating pizza from three different slice shops, and eating an entire Carvel cake.

When your birthday is on April Fool’s Day, you wake up and wonder if everything in your life will become some silly little joke this year. You assume it will.

But then, as you get up, let your feet touch the ground, and eyeball yourself in the mirror, you realize the best part of being born on April Fool’s Day is how you’ve been able to turn it all: the ugly messes, the brilliant joys, and the unexpected twists, into a silly little inside joke that makes you exactly who you are:

An overly passionate and extraordinary stubborn human April Fool.

In this issue: The five lessons I learned that I’m glad I learned by age 35 and my favorite pick-me-ups.

Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 8-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.

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Instant Pick Me Ups

🍪: My friend Christina celebrates her birthday once a month. Every month, she plans a mini little celebration for herself. I want to do that this year. My birthday is on the first of the month, so on the first of every month, I’m putting a note in my calendar to do something for “Jen”. It can be something as simple as take the afternoon off to stroll the park and drink a chai latte or something more grand like booking a solo staycation for a night.

Birthdays have a lot of pressure associated with them. ONE DAY! ONE DAY! But instead, treat yourself 1x a month. You deserve it.

📚: Sharing the library I’ve been collecting for years. These are the books I have on my shelf. I adore them so much.

🎧: My list of 5 lessons I’ve learned by age 35 are right here in this podcast episode (you can also read them below too!).

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5 Lessons I Adore at Age 35

On my 35th birthday, I thought about the person I’ve become.

For the first-time, ever, I realized I am:

So mentally strong.

A more open and honest friend.

Not as scared of rejection or failure as I used to be.

Someone who can juggle 15 different major things in one day and not give up on any of them.

And I learned that I’ve become these things because I’ve grown to appreciate the lessons that came from major mistakes and heartbreak in my 20’s.

So, at age 35, here are the 5 lessons that fuel me as I approach the second half this decade.

1. Trust Your Gut. It knows more than you in any moment.

There are so many times where we're about to make a decision or we have a thought of: don't do something or do something, and that thought is the truth. It's exactly what we needed to hear. Don't ignore that voice. 

The other day I was in a crazy workout class and they wanted us to do this sidestep run. And right before we were supposed to do it, I thought, Jen, this is not a good idea for a person as naturally clumsy as you are. Plus, my shoes were soaking wet from the rain. My gut was screaming: JEN, skip this one, okay?

 I completely ignored that voice. I said: voice, leave me alone. I ended up doing the run and I fell and I got really, really, really hurt. It was one of those moments where I was so mad because every part of me knew it was a bad idea - but I did it anyway.

You all know what I mean. You've all had those gut moments where something feels right or something feels wrong. Stop ignoring your gut. Everything in your life will change when you finally listen to that voice inside of you that's telling you what to do. 

2. Friendships change, end, waiver.

Sometimes the best friend you ever had in this world becomes a complete stranger that you see again years later and you barely say hello to, and that is okay. Not every friend you have is going to want to stick around in your life for your whole life, and you might not want to stick around in their life either.

In my twenties, my best friend in the world broke up with me. She said: I don't wanna be your friend anymore. She wouldn’t tell me why.

I was heartbroken. It felt 10 times worse than any romantic breakup I ever had because this was my best friend.  I thought about it pretty much every single day for so many years. Finally when I stopped thinking about it as much, I had to see her again at a friend's wedding for the first time in three years. 

I had so much anxiety, so much panic, seeing this person who was my best friend and now wouldn’t even let me be a part of her life. But I saw her and we said hello and it was awkward so we said goodbye. 

It wasn’t until a year and half later that I had this moment where I realized that I fully forgive her. 

You can stop wanting to be someone’s friend. You don’t owe it to anyone to be their BFF. Just because someone is your best friend today doesn't mean they will be your best friend forever. 

There are people in my life who I've said: you know what? I feel like I've grown out of this friendship too. Or I feel like this person and I aren't so close anymore and it feels forced, but I'm hanging on to the friendship because I think that friendship lasts forever and it doesn't. 

Reader: This is a hard lesson to learn. It took me much of my twenties and half of my thirties to learn. that took me pretty much all of my twenties and half of my thirties to learn. 

Even harder to learn is that if you’re not yourself around your friends and they don’t know the real you, the friendship is fake, and it will never last.

In the last couple of years, I've made new friends and I've made these friends based on who I am. I share my opinions, I share my thoughts. I stand up for myself. These people know me more than a lot of the friends that knew me in my twenties. That is a really cool feeling. 

3. Don’t let the past scare you

Just because you were rejected in the past or something happened in the past, don't assume that's gonna happen in the future. For so long, I was so bogged down by all of the rejection I received. I wrote a book. The book didn't do so well. It was really hard to write another book and sell that book. I just  had these thoughts of: nobody cares about you. Nobody wants to hear from you. You're a one book wonder.  

 I put myself down because of things that happened in the past.But when we do that, we stop fighting for ourselves. A huge part of life and opportunities is fighting for ourselves. Nobody else is going to do that. So even if things happen in your past: rejections or you got fired or you got broken up with, or somebody told you you weren't good enough, please don't let that guide you in the future. 

4. Love shouldn’t be so hard

That took me many, many, years to actually understand. So many people told me that love shouldn’t be a game. It should feel calm and easy. I didn’t understand how that could be true. But it is. Sure, there’s some fighting and arguing. BUT love shouldn't give you anxiety. It shouldn't make you panic. It shouldn't wake you up at two o'clock in the morning and make you wonder what this person is up to behind your back. It shouldn't make you feel that way. 

5. Admit your scariest goal

So it can finally come true. At the end of the year, I write a letter to myself on December 31st and schedule that letter to go out the next December 31st. I always write my goals for the future year, the big things I wanna do. I always put down one thing that I have never admitted to somebody else that I wanna accomplish. In 2021, going into 2022, I wrote something crazy on that list that I was so scared to admit to myself that seemed outrageous, and that was the first time I ever admitted it out loud.

It came true. If you keep lying to yourself about what you want, those lies become your truth. The second you admit to yourself, this is what I want. You put it in motion, you put it out there, and chances are, it will happen.

All my love,

Jen Glantz

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Random Pick-Me-Ups

Here’s a list of many of the things I completely adore and talk about quite often:

This sweatshirt - still wearing it and loving it

These workout bands - carry them with me everywhere I go

This pizza cookbook - so delicious

This healthy soda - I love the root bear flavor

These sneakers - comfortable to wear on long, long walks

And of course, this sparkle blazer set and this fringe blazer set

Ps. Let’s work together - here’s how:

👏1:1 coaching: I specialize in working with people who want to switch careers, start their own business, improve their personal brand, or are feeling lost in life. Book a session and let’s work together this month.

👏Courses: Want a quick pick-me-up? I offer a handful of digital courses that include videos, assignments, and real-time personalized feedback from me along the way. Check them out here - the most popular one is the personal branding course.

👏Company workshops & speaking: I offer company workshops and conference keynotes on topics that include personal branding, social media trends, storytelling, and more. I’ve worked with Google, Apple, HBO, ESPN, and more. Learn more here.

Advertise: Want to showcase your business or brand in one of my newsletters or on my social media? Let’s chat about open opportunities.

+ Random:

Books // Card Game // Bridesmaid for Hire // Scared to Be a Mom // Shop

Instagram // TikTok // Podcast

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I’ll be back next week with a new Monday Pick-Me-Up. Until then, I leave you with this:

I love you.